Monday, November 4, 2013

to ponyboy.

November came with warm rain in sheets, my favorite tree on fire in the backyard, and all the other trees around her too, showing off their spectacular colors. The dogs on constant squirrel watch, ears perked, noses twitching.  The squirrels wary of the hunt.

Just yesterday our tree was wreathed in a ruby crown; today her leaves gust-by-gust giving way to bare limbs, reminding me to always keep my perspective moving.


And I'm changing.  I feel like I'm growing so fast that my bones might push past my fingertips at any moment.  It used to be I would get so caught up on my past actions that I'd become stagnant, laden in guilt and regret.  But mistakes are human, and we can either render them useless or allow ourselves to learn from them, to ensure that in the future we are who we want to be.

And so connections that I let slip, I will spark again.  And if I want something, I will work towards it.  And if I don't like something, I will work to change it.  And if I can't change it, I will change my attitude.

Everyday I battle these human flaws: jealously, anger, selfishness, laziness.  Everyday I recognize them, accept them, use them as a practice in patience, kindness, selflessness and self-reliance.  Everyday I fail and succeed, and that's just fine.